Being pregnant doesn’t automatically come with a rule book. That’s why many people who are pregnant find surprises at every corner. One month, they may feel overwhelmed by cravings; the next, they might never feel like touching food again. Preparing for pregnancy can help you set your intentions and manage the changes and surprises.
Good news – if you’re a surrogate, you have plenty of time to plan and prepare. If you’ve decided to give the gift of life, you can spend some time reflecting on the best ways to ensure a healthy pregnancy. Here are some thought-starters to help you consider the dos and don’ts that might work for your surrogacy pregnancy.
Do: Learn as Much as You Can About the Process
The process of surrogacy – particularly gestational surrogacy – is thanks to the brilliance of modern medicine. When you choose to become a surrogate, learn as much as possible about it, from the science involved to what to expect. The more knowledge you have, the better prepared you will feel throughout the journey.
Don’t: Choose the Independent Route
Some aspiring surrogates decide to find a couple independently, choosing that route instead of going to a surrogate agency. While this can be viable, it’s generally not recommended. With an agency, surrogates have a higher chance of finding a better match. Plus, agencies offer surrogates guidance and support through it all. They will help schedule clinic appointments, cover travel costs, and provide much-needed advice. Using a surrogate agency is best for surrogates for the reasons stated here.
Do: Look After Your Health
When it comes to having a smooth pregnancy, your health matters. Keeping yourself as healthy as possible is in your best interests, not to mention the baby you are carrying. That means eating a healthy diet, doing light exercise, and living a stress-free lifestyle. Don’t forget to get plenty of rest, too. Your body will thank you, and so will the parents.
Don’t: Close Off Communications
Whether you’re struggling with pregnancy complications or feeling upset about something, the last thing you should do is close off communications with the intended parents, the agency, or your loved ones. Instead, be open and honest throughout the journey to ensure that the people closest to you can help you. Plus, communicating with the parents and nurturing that relationship with them will make everything so much easier.
Do: Journal Your Experience
You’re doing something amazing, so it makes sense to journal everything! Feel the baby’s first kick? Write it down. Got the first ultrasound photograph? Keep a copy for yourself. These milestones are important, and keeping track of them will help both you and the parents-to-be.
Don’t: Do it Alone
Going through a pregnancy can be tricky, as it comes with a host of strange symptoms, from nausea to food cravings – not to mention emotional ups and downs that you may have throughout the journey! By having a good support system around you, you will get through those times of stress and anxiety, coming out the other end a much stronger person.
Do: Spend Time on the Legal Process
All surrogate processes need a legal agreement. This agreement must be carefully considered, read, and agreed upon by both parties, so make sure you spend time on it. After all, you’re making a huge investment, so be sure your needs and interests are fully represented.
Don’t: Assume You Know Everything
Even if you’ve been a surrogate before, expecting the unexpected is important. Pregnancy can bring with it a whole new host of symptoms, and each pregnancy is unique. You might have had only mild nausea during your first pregnancy but are surprised to find out that you have ongoing morning sickness throughout the entirety of the next one!
On top of that, your current intended parents may be different from your last ones. They might want to be more or less involved, for example. Ride the waves and keep an open mind.
Do: Keep in Touch (if Possible)
Being a surrogate is a unique and wonderful experience; it involves carrying and then giving birth to another couple’s child. It’s a gift that people are endlessly thankful for. After all, there’s nothing better in life than family. If you have the opportunity to keep in contact with the family, consider taking it – even if that just means receiving a photo or two every year.
Of course, this is entirely up to you. Some surrogates and parents prefer not to stay in touch.
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