Social media has become a way of life for the vast majority of us. In fact, it has become a conduit in our personal and professional lives, including everything from texting our bosses about tomorrow’s meeting the night before, to texting our spouses from across the homes we share.
Whether you chat, post, snap, or tweet, it is clear that social media has completely permeated the ways in which we interact with others, both in real life and online. Given the access to mobile devices, we are now able to exchange thoughts, pictures, support, and sexual expressions from our beds, bathrooms, and hallways. Social media and its attendant temptations have affected everything, including our marriages.
Social Media and the Married Couple
There are a myriad of platforms on which to share everything from questions about the best schools, pictures of your dog, to issues with which married couples struggle. And, it seems that as a whole, we have become a rather vocal and public world community. Though these kinds of interactions can prove incredibly supportive when going through a dilemma for example, they also maximize the ability to share too much, too fast, and too soon with the wrong people.
Communication and Trust
The ability to connect with people the world affords us the opportunity to communicate with individuals we might not otherwise have had access to. Additionally, social media allows us to bond based on common interests and shared beliefs. Discussions rooted in commonality can breed a sense of trust with perfect strangers and while that is the gift of social media, it also makes it incredibly dangerous. You see, not all interactions remain innocent and some have the potential to bring people together in ways that can lead to some very uncomfortable, extramarital exchanges.
Friendships and liaisons with those outside your marriage can be nurturing and healthy. However, sharing photos, particularly in the selfie era in which we live, talking about your spouse, or spending more time your friend on the other side of a screen, can make your spouse feel unloved, unwanted, and ignored. It can also make your spouse wonder who it is that has captured your attention in ways that seem more important than the time you once spent together.
The internet allows us to feel a sense of comfort and closeness that makes us feel cozy, safe, and even a little risque. When that elusive connection drives you to spend more time with your new friend, while admiring photos they have sent you, over, say, the spouse with whom you share a marriage, bed, children, home, and bank account, problems are bound to arise.
Communication is Key
Communication is vital in any and all successful relationships. When you feel the need to go outside your relationship, hide from your spouse, lie about how you know the person in the photo on your hard drive, or why you enjoy spending every waking, breathing minute on your phone, you need to come to terms with what may very well be the disintegration of your marriage. And though we certainly do not advocate divorce as a first measure, we are aware that sometimes a family law attorney is exactly what you need. Together, we can communicate and work towards the most meaningful, least painful, and healthiest way to part ways with your spouse.