Home Advice Shopping for an Engagement Ring without Letting her Know

Shopping for an Engagement Ring without Letting her Know

Here’s all you need to know: there are plenty of other ways to create and design a romantic mystery with your fiancée. This means, you do not have to sneak off on clandestine jaunts to jewellery shops or continuously clear the history on your computer, looking for an engagement ring you hope she won’t see until you propose.

Still, if you’re ready to propose, you must know your fiancée well enough to realize how this situation will go. If you know, deep down, that she will regret, for a very long time that she didn’t get a surprise proposal, than when a friend asks “How did he propose?” She’s not going to look over at you and roll her eyes every time.

Have you:

  • Discussed the possibility of taking your relationship to “another level?”
  • Discussed your future?
  • Talked marriage?
  • Talked wedding?
  • Talked kids?
  • Talk about where you want to live?

If you answered yes to these questions, you might want to broach the subject. When you are both “present” (translate: not distracted), and are talking about your relationship or a wedding you’re going to attend, causally ask, “If you were to be proposed to – would you want to be surprised or in on the choice of ring?” If she presses you, you can simply say, “This is purely hypothetical.” If she’s coy, she’ll know exactly what you’re doing and respond in a way that will get you the right answer and prepare her for her response.

Casual Glimpses

While it might be totally unromantic to simply suddenly tell her one evening to look at engagement rings online at serendipitydiamonds.com and to choose something she likes, you can certainly make it more special. You could leave her note in her lunch, on the dashboard of her car, taped to her laptop computer or the bathroom mirror.

Some couples decide that she should at least let her beloved know what styles she likes. You know that if a guy wants to ask you to marry him, he’s going to work hard to give you what you want. You know that you’ll be wearing the ring for the rest of your life, so you better like it. Give her options to choose from.

Make sure you get:

  • A very strong sense of the style/era she likes
  • Check out her jewellery box and see what kind of pieces she has
  • Does she want a statement piece of jewellery or a pretty daily and comfortable ring?
  • Does she have strong feelings regarding diamonds?
  • Is she concerned with ethical jewellery? If so, you want to steer her towards Fairtrade Gold diamond engagement rings. Look for conflict-free diamonds and ethically procured gold.
  • Has she ever indicated if she has a “stance” on diamonds? Is she someone who believes “It’s a carat, anything less is… not.”
  • Does she have a favourite amongst the traditional styles?
  • What about the cut of diamond, from the aforementioned carats?
  • Does she plan on wearing it daily or only on special occasions?


Having her input on the types of rings she hopes to receive takes off a load of stress off of you. It’s piece of mind. Then again, you may have chosen something that is not super flattering on her fingers. But, the good news is that nothing is permanent. You’re very likely to find your favourite jeweller is a kind and understanding sort and will be able to make an exchange for you.

Shopping for an Engagement Ring: Give ‘Em a Story

And to harken back to the first paragraph, shopping for your own engagement ring is so not romantic. You lose the tradition. You lose the fairytale; you lose the story, which inevitably, tons of people (including strangers) will ask you about. Even if she gave you tips and suggestions, you could still answer the question “How did he propose?” with the “at the harbour,” or “at the beach” or wherever he does propose, and he could do so with lying, he just has to take the information you’ve provided, put it in little velvet box in his mind and still ask you in a beautiful location. You’ll get the best of both worlds.

Shopping For Engagement Rings With Your Soon-to-be Fiancée