Home Advice Five ways to be a better date

Five ways to be a better date

Going on a date can feel like facing a challenge, especially if you are new to the world of dating or have been in a relationship for a while. Many men find the prospect of meeting a woman for the first time nerve-wracking and that anxiety can easily show through on a date and limit your chances of success. Try the tips below to increase your dating confidence.


Don’t try too hard

You may have noticed that the more attractive a woman is, the harder you find yourself trying. Yet, if you consider another woman to be less good-looking, you make less of an effort, but manage to attract them all the same. Stop pigeon-holing women and treating them differently because of their looks. If you perceive all women as equal, your attraction strategies will stand an equal chance of success, regardless of how beautiful a woman is. By valuing certain women too highly, you lower your self-confidence and, as a consequence, you won’t succeed in attracting them. Be yourself and you’ll become a more attractive prospect for any woman.

Widen your net

Often there’s a type of woman that you’ll be attracted to. But it may not be the type of woman that’s right for you, otherwise, wouldn’t you have found ‘the one’ by now? Instead of always choosing to date similar women all the time, branch out and set up dates with a range of women, with different interests and professions, as well as looks. You won’t know your soul mate until you meet her and by narrowing down your options in the early stages of dating, you risk never meeting the right person.

Look your date in the eye

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Being able to look into her eyes shows confidence 

Nerves often show through in our body language and even more so in the amount of eye contact that we give someone. Think of anytime you’ve met someone and they didn’t look you in the eye. It’s more likely than not that you didn’t warm to that person or feel that you could trust them. Any woman on a date will want a man to make eye contact with her during conversation, not look off into the middle distance as they’re talking. Being able to look into someone’s eyes during conversation not only indicates a level of intimacy, but also projects an aura of confidence. There’s a balance, though. If eye contact doesn’t come naturally to you, don’t overdo it and stare too intensely, or you may appear to be more like a stalker than a potential love interest.

The spoken word

If you’re nervous, you may find that you talk too quickly, or mumble. Take a breath and speak more clearly and slowly than you might otherwise do. Show confidence in your opinions without being a know-it-all and avoid the urge to fill silences with conversational clutter; qualifying your sentences with phrases such as ‘if you know what I mean’ or ‘at the end of the day’. That way, your date will be able to hear all the interesting things you have to say.

Learn from the past


Part of the problem for many people looking for a new relationship is falling into the trap of repeating the same mistakes from previous relationships. Of course, at the early dating stage, you can’t go too far wrong. But before you throw yourself back into the world of dating, why not take a good look at what has happened in past relationships and where you might need to make some changes.

Friends and family aren’t always the best people to give you objective advice. Most of our acquaintances will tell us what they think we want to hear, rather than point out any possible failings we may have. There are alternatives you probably have never considered like seeking relationship advice at TheCircle, with one of its many psychic readers, you’ll have a chance to analyse your relationship history as well as looking ahead to what you want from a new relationship. A reading provides that level of objectivity so that you can identify if there are any behaviour patterns you need to change in order to allow a new relationship to blossom. Other options include online forums (though be wary of bad advice), practice (go on many first dates to learn from experience), simply find a regular dating coach, or work with a psychologist to overcome the deeper issues you have.

Take action in improving your confidence about dating and you’ll find that each new date becomes more fun and less of a challenge. As a consequence you’ll also become a more desirable date.