From the advent of dating apps to our changing gender roles, expectations in the dating scene have shifted radically over the last 10 years. As more women take on roles traditionally held by men in business and family, and terms like “toxic masculinity” become a cliche, navigation of the dating scene can be daunting … especially for men. Yet, there is a way to take the pressures off and keep in sync with social expectations; know what women are looking for so you can keep her interested in seeing you again. Here are four things that women notice on dates with men.
Do You like me?
How women feel in your company is the most important aspect of a successful date. She’s taken the time and energy out of her day to look great and be here with you. Accordingly, she wants to know that you are enjoying her company. Are you present, interested and enthusiastic in conversation with her, or are you swiping right under the table? According to a poll in Business Insider, 79% of women said that comfort was their main priority on a date. 94% said that they want to be complimented.
So how do you comfort and compliment women without inching towards the creep-zone?
The good news is, the “manly man” is out, so you can let go of trying to be anything but yourself. When communications are open, vulnerable and alive with shared insight and experience, women will not only recognize your interest but most importantly, that you’re interested in all of her; mind, body and soul. So be real. She’ll know you like her if you compliment her intellect as well as her .
Are you relaxed?
Whether or not you are relaxed will also affect how comfortable she feels with you. Are you awkward, or confident and able? The thing is, it’s not at all unusual to feel a bit nervous, especially on a first date … and she will notice. However, the way to diffuse discomfort is to openly admit it. In fact, she may feel the same way. To admit you are nervous on a date can actually open the door to connection. You’re a real human. Great! She can appreciate that. And having our insecurities out in the open is far better than trying to hide or suppress them. Otherwise, things can get really awkward.
Be willing to laugh at yourself if you are overwhelmed. Are you quaking in your boots because she’s drop-dead gorgeous? Is her intellect intimidating? Don’t worry about it. If she is someone that’s worth your while, she’ll not only understand when you tell her how you feel but may even be flattered by it.
Make it a goal to be pleasant and relaxed. According to Psychology Today, a relaxed pace is actually the hallmark of healthy relationships. We are far too rushed in western society in general, so this may take some practice. Do your best to make your date an opportunity to slow down and enjoy the conversation and scenery.
Show her that you are intelligent
According to Microsoft news, 88% of women listed grammar as a top priority of things they judge while on a date. But women aren’t looking to be the grammar police, nor will a woman be impressed by arrogance. Don’t try to sound intelligent by using terms like subdoxastic or propaedeutic. Don’t attempt to flatter her by saying her speech is lucent, or she’s looking rather pulchritudinous unless, of course, you never want to see her again. Basically, women want to know that you are able to hold an intelligent conversation, and might even surprise her with the occasional bit of information that will inform and delight her.
Also, remember that intelligence has many faces. While mental acuity is important, emotional availability is also high on her list. While she’ll be watching to make sure you’re not gooey, she wants to know that you will be present and available in moments when she needs a friend whom she can trust and share with.
What is the condition of your wallet?
I’ve saved the best one for last; a trick I learned from my own dating experience.
When we’re out on a date, most of us dress to impress and show off our best, well-polished persona. We tend to tuck away the qualities that may be deemed less than desirable, those things about each other we usually don’t notice until months, or even years, into a relationship. Accordingly, we rarely get a glimpse into the real “inside story” on the first few dates. Here’s the trick; whether you are picking up the tab or she is, make sure, when pulling out your wallet, that it’s handsome and in good condition!
You see, women will keep their eyes peeled for signs of what you’re really like behind those initial impressions. This means she’ll be watching for things that are less in the open, out of reach of easy observation. She wants to know if you toss your clothes carelessly onto the floor, or fold your socks neatly into your underwear drawer. Basically, she wants to be sure she’s not hooking up with a slob. Your wallet is one of the first opportunities she’ll have to observe your inconspicuous self. At that moment when the bill is on the table, if you scrutinize over it and then — rip — tear open that cheap velcro wallet … from that moment on, you are headed on a downward spiral! We did a lot of research to give you a good idea on where to find the best wallets. We really like this guide from Honest Product Reviews. It goes into great detail which wallet will be the best fit for someone like you who needs to make a solid first date impression.
All of this may seem a bit overwhelming, but don’t worry! The truth is if you bring yourself to the table and be honest and upfront, all will go well. Women want to know you, the real you; your joys, pains, interests, and yes, even your flaws. Remember the choice is not only hers but yours as well. What do you look for on a date? Finding the right person is far more important than finding just anyone to spend time with. What are your hopes and fears, expectations and preferences? Be clear about them. Observe and ask questions with a light air and friendly attitude. Most of all, enjoy and have fun!