After the initial shock of your wife’s miscarriage has worn off, it’s time to take action. The way you react during this time can make all the difference in your wife’s recovery and healing process from her loss. If you are at a loss about what to do, try to follow these three steps, which will help both of you get through this trying time together as painlessly as possible.
Grief is personal
The most important thing you can do is just be there for your wife. You might feel like you want to say or do something, but there’s no wrong way to support someone who’s experienced a miscarriage. Everyone deals with loss differently, so all you can do is show her that she’s loved and you are supporting her. If she wants to talk about it, she will; if not, let her be — you don’t need to force the conversation in either case. One of the most important things you can do is listen as your wife copes with her miscarriage. Miscarriage gifts are another way to show her support on days when you don’t know what to say. If giving is your love language, this simple gesture can go a long way with her.
Understand what your wife needs
If your wife has experienced a miscarriage, there is no denying that she will need a tremendous amount of support. Understanding what your wife needs and how you can help her through such a tough time are one of the most important things you can do to help. Remember: This isn’t just something she’s experiencing; it’s something that she will be dealing with for quite some time. So, be sure to communicate openly with each other about what you both need. Asking questions and listening are key tools for helping her through these trying times.
The last thing you want to do is make her feel alone in her pain or suffering. That will only exacerbate an already difficult situation. Instead, offer as much love and care as possible and know that every little bit helps—even if it seems small or insignificant at first glance.
The three main things your wife may need from you after a miscarriage include understanding, love, and communication. Remembering these three simple concepts will go a long way in helping you better understand how to deal with such an emotional issue together. It doesn’t matter whether or not you were looking forward to having children—you still have each other (and possibly pets) now more than ever before, and that should mean everything!
Take time off
If you’re like most working parents, when your wife experiences a miscarriage, you’ll feel obligated to stay at work to get your job done. But experts advise taking time off if possible — both for her sake and yours. When a couple loses a child through miscarriage or stillbirth, research shows that being together is one of the best ways to cope with their loss. Studies suggest that men who take leave in these situations report feeling closer to their wives and more confident about their relationship as couples than those who didn’t take time off from work. Plus, many employers offer paid parental leave that can be used following a miscarriage or stillbirth, so you may be able to use some of your own paid time off to help care for your wife. She’ll need lots of support during what will likely be an emotionally trying time. Being by her side will help her heal faster and recover better. And it will make it easier for you to deal with any grief you might experience yourself after losing a pregnancy.
The next few weeks will likely be difficult ones; don’t let work make things worse! It’s important that she gets lots of rest and doesn’t have any additional stressors on top of what she’s already experiencing physically and emotionally. And remember, you’ll want plenty of support too.
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