Home Advice Pre-Divorce Advice for Men | Planning Your Divorce

Pre-Divorce Advice for Men | Planning Your Divorce

Pre-Divorce Advice

From time immemorial, divorce is not something that people talk about openly. It seems like the more one talks about it, it becomes a reality, and with this in mind, it is hard to hear people discussing much on the topic. This has led to difficulties in knowing the expectations or rather where to start in the event a couple decides to end a marriage.

When dealing with difficult situations in a family related to parenting, finances, career path, and the inevitable happens, then this stage can lead a person to make mistakes that can ruin your life forever. It is essential, therefore, to have an idea of where to start when going through a break-up.

In particular, men tend to keep issues to themselves, which becomes a painful process and may drain one financially and emotionally. However, to avoid an experience that is full of grief, it is essential to have some knowledge about divorce well beforehand to ensure that you will not be on the losing end.

By following the below advice on how to prepare for divorce for men, a man will have a painless break-up process and will be able to move on at ease once the decree is pronounced.

1.   Equip yourself with knowledge about marriage separation process

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Men in most cases, take it easy but realize later that they ought to have done something once they find themselves on the losing end. However, the minute you make up your mind to proceed with the marriage annulment process, you need to have enough knowledge of how the process is done. Think of the method of the marriage annulment available and settle for the one that fits you most, for instance;

Use of Online Divorce services. This is a process by which the modern way allow divorce on the internet to take place. Various online divorce services are available on the internet. It’s critical to go through each one of them and understand the role they play. For instance, an uncontested marriage does not need an attorney to process the divorce papers. You only need to sign up to one of the online sites and take an interview to check the eligibility to use the online service.

As soon as you are eligible, you are required to pay an application fee and proceed with accessing the divorce papers. The beauty of this process is that you can fill the documents while sited at home, submit for evaluation, and once the papers are certified to be okay, they are submitted to the court for judgment. This is an inexpensive method of separation, efficient and fast.

Use of an Attorney. This is the type of divorce where you are required to use a lawyer to act on your behalf to process the divorce papers, submit to the courts, attend to all the court sessions and wait for the judge to pronounce the judgment day. This method is applicable for the contested break-ups whereby, there have been many differences between the separating partners, and it is only an attorney that can help in managing their disputes.

Follow this link to find divorce attorneys.

2.   Open a Post Office Mailbox.

Having a post office box will be necessary because of the many issues that are underneath.

  • If you have not shared with your partner on the intentions to break with her, there is some personal information that you would not want her to access, and they should remain confidential to yourself alone even as you begin the official preparations.
  • When the preparations take off, you should also ensure that you do not lose some of the divorce papers which if they get into the hands of your Ex to be, she may be malicious enough to hide and destroy them in a bid to mess up your documentation.

3.   Design a parental plan.

One thing you should remember is that even after the end of a marriage, the children you bore remain to be your own and you should never neglect them in case the mother is the custodial parent. As such, design a method on how the children will be catered for in terms of education, medical, upkeep to ensure that they enjoy the benefits of having a parent.

This is often a hard decision and especially when there is a communication breakdown between the partners but even when you cannot reach a win-win deal be committed to the final decision on how to take care of the children once you part ways.

Purpose to involve a professional who will walk you through the process to see to it that the issues relating to children support are not ignored in case of a communication breakdown.

Be respectful to one another and at times, be wise enough to avoid so much fight over the custodian of the kids, it will add more pain not only to you but to the children also.

Click here to learn more about the parental plan.

4.   Remain Sound, Still and Sane.

Whenever one takes the risk of ending a marriage, various thoughts come into mind, confusion, depressed state of mind, feeling frustrated and lacking direction about the future.

All these reactions need a man to remain strong remembering that there is life after, which requires you to fulfill some duties. For instance, when it comes to child support, you will need to be financially stable, but if you allow the thoughts to rule over you, you will not have the strength to go and work to see your children need a meeting.

The best way out of this is to look for ways that will keep you away from the negative thoughts and focus on the future that is yet to come. An example is going out with friends who care about you, share out the painful feelings, have a cup of coffee together, and thus will allow you to lift the weight from your shoulders.

You will also have the strength to proceed with the process objectively.

When you go through a smooth separation process, you will experience a rather cost-effective ending, which will give a good foundation towards starting a new life with ease.

5.   Re-invent new goals.

One of the major problems that may end up leading to a post-divorce depression is preparing to end your marriage without goals. In most cases, the goals that were already in place were set by the Ex-family to be, but as soon as you start preparing for the new life, set new goals such that when the decree is made, you will have a new direction that will not give room for frustrations.

Some of these goals are;

  • Opening new accounts- In the previous life, your wife was involved in your bank accounts operations, beneficial details, but it is vital to change them and have accounts with your names and preferences. This will avoid having your ex misuse your finances, which most likely, you will need to start life anew.
  • Prepare all the paperwork in advance-Having a copy of all the paperwork before submission of the divorce papers to the courts is essential so that you are well aware of all the investments you have and when it comes to the settlement, it will be easy to relate on the sharing process for both of you.
  • Write down a settlement – This will help the courts to make a decision on the entire divorce settlement process, and if you have agreed with your spouse on the division of the assets, prepared and submitted the same, the judges will evaluate and if there will be no malicious way of division, then your decision will be respected. You will not only make it a smooth process but will be less expensive than hiring a professional to deal with the issue.
  • Either way, you can still opt to hire a professional accountant to help you to divide and calculate your investments, and also the tax returns which you may not be knowledgeable about and allow for smooth flow during submission of the papers.

6.      Plan for a support system.

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When a marriage is broken, it does not only break the nuclear family, but also the extended family and friends are affected. People tend to keep off from you in fear of being associated with you for the choice of life you have decided to take. Friends will also stay away from you as they may fear you might mess up with their families. All these reactions are expected, but one thing you should consider is to have a friend who will stick closer to you during this time and even after the official pronouncement that the marriage is over.


Step out and declare that you must start a new life. Since this is a lifetime event, watch on the decisions you make and acquaint yourself with people of like minds who have had such an experience, and they will share out ideas that will give you a jump start.

Be focused on the future life and do not stop on the negatives, walk away from people who do not stand with you at such a time, but when you separate right, you will have a fresh start with the newness of life.

The healing process will not take long, and happiness will be your portion once again.

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