When it comes to wedding planning, we tend to expect that the bride will want to take creative control of pretty much everything, but this is the 21st century and you’re a 21st century man! There’s no reason you can’t take an active role in planning your wedding and in making sure the day is perfect for you and your bride-to-be. Here are a few tips to help you make sure you have a great time during the entire wedding experience with your wife-to-be.
Only you can know how much you want to be involved in your wedding planning and how much you care about the total wedding vision. You may be the type who wants to leave this all to your other half or you may be the type who actually has a lot of ideas about how you would like your wedding to look. Whatever the situation, the most important thing is that you and your fiancée figure out a good balance for how much of the planning work each of you wants to deal with. As you’re figuring this out, consider the following things:
- How do you both envision the wedding? Consider size, cost, location, etc. Come up with a budget you can both agree on and then figure out which elements of your big picture are most important to you. Location? Catering?
- If you each care more about different parts of the wedding, consider splitting up tasks so you can each have creative control over certain things. You should definitely have a say in what tuxedos you and your groomsmen will be wearing.
- If you don’t care at all about organizing or planning for the wedding, you need to at least be certain that you are being attentive to your fiancée’s planning efforts. Planning a wedding is extremely difficult, so help her by being an active voice when she asks for your opinion on various matters. Don’t be afraid to voice your opinion on certain matters, whether or not she specifically asked. As your partner, she’s bound to really value the feedback. And of course, it’s your wedding, too. You should feel like you’re allowed to express yourself. If you find that you have dramatically different ideas about the palette for the wedding, you need to speak up and work out a compromise.
Be Respectful and Expect Respect
Wedding planning can get extremely stressful, so you and your bride need to remember to give each other room and to understand when the other is overwhelmed. If you notice that your fiancée is getting stressed out, encourage her to step away from the planning for a while and offer to help in whatever way you can. Surprise her with little gifts, like a gift card for her to get a massage to help ease her stress.
In addition, you will both be dealing with sudden pressures from friends and family to organize things in certain ways. You both need to be patient with your own families and with each other’s families, but know when to assert yourself and draw the line. Know when to step in and let a family member know that your fiancée needs space and you’d appreciate it if they talked with you about their concerns for the time being.
Handle As Much On Your Own as Possible
By tradition, certain elements of planning will fall to the groom and his side of the family. Once you’ve gotten together your groomsmen, work with them to organize your bachelor party and any elements of the wedding where they will be playing an active role like greeting people at the door. Similarly, it is traditionally the groom’s family that pays for the rehearsal dinner. While you will of course want to get your wife’s opinion on many matters for the rehearsal dinner, make sure you are minimizing her stress by handling as much of this planning process as possible.
Ask your groomsmen to help you with any elements of planning or organizing that are causing you trouble. As a group of your closest friends, they will likely be happy to offer you any help that they can so don’t be afraid to ask. Got a grumpy aunt who tends to be a rain cloud at family events? Ask one of your buddies to check in with her regularly to make sure she’s having a good time. Worried that you won’t have enough seating for the ceremony? Task one of your groomsmen with acting as your conduit, someone you can send to check on things for you as they come up. Of course, be sure to thank the guys with some nice groomsmen gifts. When deciding what to get them, consider their personalities. Are they party guys? If so, go with a nice personalized flask or beer mug.
Don’t Skimp When Planning the Honeymoon and Registry!
You only get one registry and one honeymoon – make them count! As you and your fiancée are looking into these elements of your wedding planning, make sure you are giving these decisions your full attention as that will really pay off in the end. Besides, your honeymoon is your light at the end of the tunnel for all of the stress planning! Make this as rewarding as possible, and give yourself at least a full week in a destination that you and your bride have long been wanting to visit and enjoy it to the fullest!