The calendar’s annual period aka Valentine’s Day is here. Here are some Do’s and Don’ts that should keep you out of Doo Doo… at least until February 15th.

DO: Plan. Places book up fast, so unless you think your love is best expressed by endless bread-sticks at Olive Garden, or a 4:15 dinner, get something reserved, so you don’t get accused of “always doing nothing.”

DON’T: Suggest a threesome. Certain holidays are better for this than other (i.e. your birthday, New Years, Yom Kippur). Valentine’s Day is more about celebrating your love of each other and over-priced flowers, so keep it that way.

DO: Candles, bubble baths, chocolates, and all that other cliché crap that chicks dig. As a general rule of thumb, if it was in a movie or TV show that they like, do it. (Excluding meth from Braking Bad).

DON’T: Buy underwear or lingerie.  If it’s doesn’t fit because it’s too small, you’re in trouble; but if you buy a size that is too big, you are in even bigger trouble. Either way you are fucked and not fucked at the same time.

DO: Write something sweet and heartfelt in the card. I do this by Googling “something sweet and heartfelt to put in the card.”

DON’T: Try to pass off an old Christmas card as a Valentine’s Day card, by drawing a heart with a sharpie on Santa. Women don’t fall for this, and you will look thoughtless and/or cheap.

DO: Go to a place that has significance to your relationship (first date spot, where you fell in love, etc.)

DON’T: Go to a place that had significance in your past relationship, but you smoked too much weed to remember, and as a result you are now in a fight that has been going on for 4 years, and you get reminded of doing that every Valentine’s Day, no matter how hard you have tried to make it right, even if you apologize again in this article (I’m sorry, Danielle), and try to move past it.

About the Author:

Kevin Klein - Valentine's Day Do's & Dont's

As a sharp quick witted mind, Kevin Klein has maintained a thriving radio show career stemming from New York and now in San Francisco at CBS Radios KITS: Live 105.

Prior to moving to the Bay Area, Kevin spent six years hosting “The Playboy Morning Show” on SiriusXM, which focused on the editorial angle of the magazine

In addition Klein has been featured in numerous shows on VH1, MTV, and E! He’s been a re-occurring guest host on “Loveline” with Dr. Drew.

You can follow Kevin @TheKevinKlein & his show @TheKevinKleinLive