Why is it that some people think only women who wear makeup and dye their hair have self confidence issues? All women who do this aren’t self conscious, of course (some just want to experiment). However, being a man with self confidence issues can be tough. Most men don’t want to wear makeup to cover their acne scars, for example, and some don’t even have to have anything physically ‘wrong’ with them to feel insecure.
Are you a man with self confidence issues? The thing with these issues is that they not only affect your relationship with yourself – they can affect every other relationship in your life too. You can’t expect women to begin falling at your feet if you don’t like yourself very much, and then you wonder why you don’t get attention from the opposite sex (or the same sex, whatever your jam is) and feel even worse. Even if you’re in a relationship, or do find somebody you like a lot, your issues can easily seep into areas of your relationship that you’d never think possible.
Here are some important tips on helping you to deal with your self confidence issues, so you can improve your relationship with yourself and those around you:
Pinpoint The Problem
Is there a way you can pinpoint your confidence issues? Where are they coming from? If you think they are coming from one specific place, for example, a toxic person who is always bringing you down, you’ll need to find the strength to either leave this person in the past, or stop letting what they say have such an effect on you. Sometimes, our issues stem from when we are very young. We don’t always remember why, but it’s worth knowing that the things people may have said to you or around you, or the things you may have seen on TV have shaped you as the person you are today. It’s not your fault. Feel good that this isn’t your fault.
However, it will be your fault if you choose to stay the same, and don’t attempt to change. People change how they think and feel all the time, and subsequently change their lives. If you stay stuck, it’s because you’ve chosen to stay stuck. Pure and simple.
Start Believing In Your Decision Making Skills
One of the reasons people have self confidence issues is because they don’t trust their decision making skills. It may not sound like a big deal to some, but to others, their skills in this area can be crippling. Everybody is hit with indecision from time to time, but being mindful and selecting an option is a must. Making a decision is better than not making a decision at all, so it’s important to remember that you won’t make a wrong choice. Anything you do you can learn from. Practice making decisions quickly when it comes to things like what to eat, what to wear, and where to go. Give yourself a maximum of a few seconds to think of your answer, and get really disciplined. This should help you to make decisions better in the future.
Turn Off The Negativity Station
You may or may not realize that most people have negative thoughts powering through their brains at all times. Some have them more than others, but we all have them to some degree. Most people are addicted to problems, and dwell on what is wrong instead of what is right. It’s the way many of us have been raised and the way society shapes us. It would be seen as strange to actually walk around talking about everything that’s great with you – some might say it’s bragging, others might get jealous… there are a number of reasons people don’t act this way.
You definitely don’t have to walk around like some crazed Polly Anna, but you need to turn off that negativity station. At the very least, turn it down. Become aware of when you’re thinking these negative thoughts, and once you notice them, decide to change them. Think about something else completely. You don’t have to entertain every thought that comes into your head. You are not your thoughts.
Turn On The Positivity Station
Now you’ve turned down the negativity station, turn up the positivity station. Think of them as radio stations. When you start thinking negative thoughts, you’re emitting a low frequency. Who’s going to want to be around somebody who feels grumpy? Just because people can’t read your thoughts, doesn’t mean everything in your head doesn’t show in your face and your mannerisms. Turning on the positivity station will mean you emit a higher frequency, and you’ll find people respond and react better to you. It can feel strange at first, and you must practice. Being mindful and aware of your thoughts, simply observing them is important for this. Studies show that we can actually re-wire our brains when we’re consistent with something like this.
Wire your brain to think positive thoughts, affirm your worth, and you will feel so much better.
Embrace Your Mistakes And Learn From Them
Maybe you feel low because of mistakes you have made in the past. We all make mistakes, some more than others. The key is to learn from these mistakes. Remember how they’ve made you feel, and why you don’t want to make them again. Figure it what you can take away from your mistakes that will help you in the future, even if it’s that you aren’t going to do something again. It can be as simple as that.
Be Grateful For What You Have/What You’ve Achieved
Start being more grateful for what you have and what you’ve achieved. Don’t be one of those people that mopes around thinking they don’t have enough, or they aren’t enough. If you can drive a car, that’s amazing. If you finished school, that’s great too. Find the smallest things to be proud of. Be grateful for your family, friends, a roof over your head, etc. You may only have enough money to buy food each month, but that’s still so much more than some people have. Gratitude is the key to a better life and feeling great.
Focus On Self Care
Focusing on self care will make you feel better. Make sure you take care of your skin, hair and nails. Go for treatments if it makes you feel good, e.g., regular hair cuts. You may want to look into a hair transplant if a receding hairline or hair loss is the cause of some of your anxiety. However, you must remember that changing your physical appearance doesn’t automatically change how you feel on the inside. It’s up to you to secure your feelings.
Embrace your imperfections and don’t feel like you have to ‘fix’ every little thing.
Start Doing Things To Change In A Positive Way
If you really don’t like where or who you are, you can start doing things to change in a positive way. Change is constant, and everything has to change at some point. Don’t get too attached to the way things are now, because eventually, they will change. Just don’t fall into the trap of thinking things like ‘when I have X i’ll be happy’, ‘When I get to X weight I’ll be OK’ – you need to learn to be happy and feel OK now, otherwise you’ll always move the goalposts. People always develop new wants and desires. It’s human nature. Don’t place your happiness on a point in the future and be happy now.
That being said, wanting to change in a positive way is great. Read more self help books. Go to therapy. Sign up for a course you’re interested in. Join a gym. Do the things you know will help you to achieve your dream life.