Some people love Black Friday, others hate it. I think I speak for a lot of us of the male half of the species in saying that we hate it. It has its good points but it’s something that we must do rather than want to do. At least if you’re not single and childless and completely emotionally detached from the rest of the human race. If you have a family of your own, you’re guaranteed to be dragged along; at the very least they are going to need you as a human shield!

Here are some tips for surviving Black Friday with your dignity and spleen intact.

1) The obvious one, be well-rested. Don’t plan on doing anything after Thanksgiving dinner apart from storing up your energy. Make sure everybody knows this rule and is absolutely clear about its huge importance.  Remember, you’re doing them a favor. They owe you your beauty sleep!

2) Stimulate. On days like Black Fridays, those niacin-based energy drinks are a charm. I personally have a blood sugar problem, however, so if you’re like me and niacin can spike your blood sugar to unacceptable levels, you can chew on some nicotine gum. Obviously don’t make a daily habit of this. This is just for special occasions like Black Friday.

3) Have A Plan. Going into the stores in a mad rush is a sure recipe for chaos and disappointment. Discuss with your loved ones what the mission is beforehand. Corollary to this, it’s not such a bad idea to go like a week before on a recon mission and get to know the layout of the store. This sounds like a waste of time, but trust me, it isn’t!

If you need any more help, I came across something super. Ebates made this infographic that I think is just excellent, although they say at the end to avoid Black Friday altogether. This is a very nice wet dream for most of us, but it will probably remain an unfulfilled fantasy.

dads black friday survival guide IG.png?zoom=1 - Got Kids? Got Black Friday!

And lastly, remember that once you’ve made it through Black Friday you can take the weekend off and just be a vegetable. And try not to think about December yet.