Unpacking Social Fitness
Since its inception in 1938, the Harvard Study of Adult Development has stood as the longest-running longitudinal study on happiness. This landmark research set out to track a group of men throughout their lives, extending now to their descendants, with the aim of uncovering what truly contributes to human flourishing. The primary takeaway? The quality of our relationships plays a crucial role in our health and happiness. Robert Waldinger, the current director of the study, encapsulates this concept with the term “social fitness.” While his book, The Good Life, introduces the term, it does not delve deeply into its meaning. Here, we aim to unpack what social fitness entails and why it matters.
Understanding Social Fitness
We often associate fitness with physical health, but it’s equally apt for describing our social well-being. Like physical fitness, social fitness has two aspects:
- Current Condition: The quality of your relationships.
- Capacity: Your ability to maintain and develop these relationships.
When you’re physically fit, your body is in good shape, allowing you to perform various activities. Similarly, when you’re socially fit, your relationships are healthy and fulfilling.
Assessing Your Social Fitness
To gauge your social fitness, consider how much you agree with the following statements:
- I don’t often feel lonely.
- I’m happy with my number of friends.
- I have someone to call in an emergency.
- I can discuss bad days with someone.
- I feel honest in most relationships.
- I feel supported and loved.
- I have someone to ask for practical advice.
- There is someone who challenges and encourages me.
- There is someone who makes me laugh.
- I’m happy in my romantic relationship.
- Someone in my life knows nearly everything about me.
These reflect the current state of your social fitness. Next, consider your capacity to engage socially:
- I’m comfortable walking into a room of strangers.
- I can make small talk with ease.
- I listen intently without distractions.
- I cultivate genuine curiosity about others.
- I read social signals well and adapt my behavior.
- I ask questions that deepen conversations.
- I offer feedback and advice appropriately.
- I empathize effectively.
Both elements are interconnected: improving one enhances the other, just as physical exercise boosts overall fitness.
The Parallels Between Physical and Social Fitness
Intentional Effort
Historically, both physical and social fitness were maintained naturally through daily activities. Modern life, however, often requires intentional effort to stay active and socially engaged. Just as sedentary lifestyles demand scheduled exercise, technology and remote work necessitate deliberate social interactions.
Health Consequences
Neglecting either physical or social fitness can lead to severe health issues. Sedentary lifestyles are linked to various illnesses, as is loneliness. The Harvard Study found that those most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.
Freedom From and Freedom To
Fitness in both realms provides freedom from health problems and freedom to enjoy life’s activities. Physical fitness prevents diseases and enables physical endeavors, while social fitness prevents loneliness and enables fulfilling relationships and social success.
Use It or Lose It
Both types of fitness deteriorate without regular use. Social skills, like physical strength, can become rusty if not practiced regularly.
Individual Variability
People vary in their natural inclinations and needs for physical and social activity. Some need more exercise or social interaction than others, but everyone requires a minimum to maintain health.
Cultivating Social Fitness: A Dual Benefit
Improving your social fitness enriches your life and benefits those around you. Socially fit individuals provide essential support, enhancing the well-being of their communities. Strong social skills can help mend societal rifts, fostering a more connected and empathetic community.
The Necessity of Regular Social Exercise
Maintaining social fitness requires consistent effort, akin to physical exercise. Whether it’s joining social gatherings or striking up conversations, these interactions keep your social skills sharp.
Even when socializing feels optional, it’s crucial to engage regularly. Say yes to networking events, practice small talk, and maintain connections, even when you’re not in the mood. Just like a good workout, social interactions often leave you feeling better and more connected.
By regularly exercising your social muscles, you ensure you’re ready for meaningful interactions when they matter most. So, keep those social engagements on your calendar and remember: maintaining your social fitness is just as vital as staying physically fit.
